31 Weeks Down, 9 to Go!
It’s been 31.5 weeks and the wonder and awe of being pregnant has not gone away.
I live in utter amazement, immense gratitude, deep reflection, and the occasional moments of “is this real?”. Take nothing for granted. Take no one for granted.
It became oh-so-real the first time I saw that little heart beating inside of me at 5 weeks. It became even more real when we saw our sweet little one via ultrasound.
I no longer had one heart within me but two beating hearts: mine and our sweet baby’s.
For months, for years, it felt like I had applied for this dream job (of motherhood) with glowing recommendations yet the call back never came. I watched as friends, family, and strangers received their call. I wondered if I was even meant for this. Maybe, just maybe, I had heard wrong. So, I let go.
“A delay is not a denial from God.”-Rick Warren
I let go of the notion that “I will be happy if/when…” and instead resolved to find joy in the now-the chaotic, crazy now.
I struggled. A lot. I still struggle sometimes.
I had to fight (against the lies of the enemy for my joy, peace, serenity). Daily. And to be honest, I fight for my joy, peace and serenity day in and day out.
I was pushed and stretched in ways I never knew.
God was using this time to purify my heart and cleanse me of some internal ugliness that had to go before the miracle arrived.
Then one day, it happened. I woke up to learn that I had a miracle growing inside of me.
After seeing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time, the reality of what was happening within me, through me, and around me was starting to take shape.
Pain. Discomfort. Nausea. It would all be part of it.
Sleepless nights. Food Aversions. And fatigue. These would also be a part of it.
Miracles are often messy. They don’t typically come wrapped in the perfect paper with a big fancy bow. Instead, they show up in the moments in which we are about to give up, in moments of inconvenience, and often when we least expect it.
I have a game changer growing inside of me.
This precious life was created for this moment in time.
With every kick and flick, I feel this little one’s tenacity and know that great(er) things are ahead.
He or she has not even entered the world yet but is already a beacon of hope, light, and love.
Miracles do that. They elicit the best in us even if all we see is a flicker of light.
A tiny heart beats inside of me-a signal of life and a glimpse of the wonder and awe(some) to come.
And the truth is dear friend, when I think of you (yes You reading this), I think of a game changer born into this world for a time such as this. You are not a mistake. You are a miracle. You. Are. A. Miracle. No matter how you came into this world, know that you have a certain something, something that only YOU can add to this world.Beautiful Soul, you and I were Made With Love, Made TO Love.
- Ladies (and Gents) Who ________: What’s Your Legacy? - May 15, 2018
- A Letter For Every Mother - April 17, 2018
- Dear Beautiful Soul… - March 28, 2018